10 a5 pages….

(02:05 am)

Okay, I cant sleep and I think it is because I havent updated here in a while. I feel a bit guilty about not doing that…

I also have a constant ringing in my ears… horribly annoying…

I like talking. Despite my mothers idea about me being a very quiet person, only saying ”I dunno” when asked questions. Its actually mainly around her I do that, for some reason. Maybe because I dont want her to know what it is that I want, even tho she seems to know it well as it is. I also like to listen to other people talking, about their thouhts and ideas rather than about everything and anything.

I like to discuss, argue my case or debate..

Discuss, argue, debate. These verbs mean to talk with others in an effort to reach agreement, to ascertain truth, or to convince. Discuss involves close examination of a subject with interchange of opinions. Argue emphasizes the presentation of facts and reasons in support of a position opposed by others.
– Dictionary.com

I like it when I am right (who doesnt) but its a drag when the other part refuse to accept a defeat and instead they come up with argumens on how it wasnt their fault they didnt know it and things like that. If I wasnt frustrated before I will sure be it after that. In my opinion one should accept a loss gracefully. ((Perhaps not a loss of a relative, but loss in the sense of being incorrect or less correct about something))

Usually when I am wrong (which is quite usual) I accept it and I try to learn something from the discussion. An argument or a discussion is useless unless someone leaves with more knowledge, or a different point of view or just ”enlightened” in some way.

I think this will be a long entry, I hope you’ll read it trough…

When I talk to someone I usually pay attention to what they say, but not only that, I also try to pay attention to what is behind the words. To me that is sometimes more difficult to do in real life, than in a private chatroom.

I like to talk mainly about deep things, and when I have told someone all my ”deep secrets” I feel I havent got much more to say. This is a bad thing. I think it might be the main reason to why I have few friends left… I am lousy at finding things to talk about besides myself or the few areas I have knowledge in.

I think I have a hidden (subconscious) fear that any partner I decide to share my life with will never live up to my expectations. Why I worry about this now… I dont know. 

I was in Manchester for a few days. I visited Salford university. I am about 85% sure that it is the place for me. Nonetheless I will check out more universities in the UK. BA Design is what I am looking for. Its broader and better than Interior design. It seems to suit me better. 

In Manchester I went to a hard rock cafe for the first time in my life (as far as I know). I had a lot of fun there, mainly because I was tired, in good company and because we had a cute waitor named andy. *smiles*

Our hotel was … less than decent. The beds were OK, but thats about it. I wouldnt recommend it to anyone I know.

I lost 6 kilos in Manchester. Due to walking. I will try to keep the walking up, because I do not want to gain those kilos again.

Is it possible to have a pretty smile even tho you have ugly teeth?is it?

(02:35 am) 
I will soon (in a few days) put up a page on the development of my room, its soon furnished and finished.

I like to be close, very close, to people I like. Too bad most of them live far or very far away so there’s great difficulty in being close to them.
I like to hug, embrace and be near, all the time except when I am about to sleep. It’s near impossible for me to fall asleep with someone too near. I guess I need my space just then…. I suppose its something necessary to get used to. 

I havent met most of my good friends yet. Main reson is because they do not even live near my own country.

(02:45 am)

To sum last week up in one word.. I’d choose Happiness.

It’s good that I am happy, isnt it? its no use being grumpy, Its easier to get trough the day/week/month/year/life with a happy mind.


Now I’ll sleep.