I had another weird dream this morning….
I cant remember much of it right now, but it was a party… and on this party someone had got beaten up by someone else. this person was a very angry little person who had come to misunderdstand or intentionally misinterpret things… On the party there were also an old man…, it might just have been he who got beaten by that angry person… An old friend of mine, who I think I am still friends with, Came to the party, I was outside the building than, so was he… He stood and talked to someone.. so I stood practicallly in front of the door so he would see me, but he did not…. that pissed me off. . I went back in… to try to get his attention… I failed… I stopped trying and decided to have fun… this wasnt easy because everyone was in fear of this small angry guy, I felt powerful (odd thing to feel after rejection/ignorance but still) I felt like I could ”take on him” manage… I went up to talk to him, ”why are you so angry, all this is surpressed rage from som eother occasion, I think. I think you ought to find a way to channel it so it doesnt hurt people that are or could be your friends. If you looke all your friends you have yet another thing to be angry of…. and I dont think that would help”  I said something along those likes, he let me finish but when I had he tossed me up in the ceiling so I fell down on the ground.. kaboom… but I was still not awake from this dream. I figured it wasnt possible to talk to him, so I decided to go out, someone  blocked the dor but I was stronger… the lil angry guy came after me and decided I should be one wth the pavement….. Someone removed him and they all left me there, outside, alone…
I cried.. I cried for many things, not only for my pain… I cried because my ’friend’ didnt see me, because I didnt know anyone else there, because angy people get dangerous when talked to…. then he came… My friend came and he hugged me and said that everything is gonna be ok… I just hope that means outside the dreamworld as well… that if I really do need him, he will be there… I think it is true, but how can I know… I dont really feell like doing someone else I know might have ,,, ”test” him.. his loyalty and stuff.. thats just evil and silly and its too easy to get disappointed.. Nah,, I know I havent got his loyalty.. but perhaps some respect and I do think he cares about me… genuinly….